


Is it still a home when you're all alone?

by sunsets12



Series: Jason Todd's Mental Health [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), DCU
Genre: Angst, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, For now it is just a short drabble but I'll probably expand on it in the future, Gen, Introspection, Jason Todd Deserves Better, Jason Todd-centric, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28106391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsets12/pseuds/sunsets12
Summary: An exploration of Jason's mental health after Under the Red Hood and beyond (spoiler: his mental health isn't doing that great)
Series: Jason Todd's Mental Health [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070240
Comments: 4
Kudos: 107





	Is it still a home when you're all alone?

Jason wasn’t one of those people who thought they had no fears. He knew very well what his fears and limitations were. A small, hopeful part of him just thought he would never have to face them—not like this. It’s true that he knew he would be facing the clown tonight, but facing the clown wasn’t the only thing he was afraid of, and unlike his other fears, he had prepared for that one.

What he hadn’t prepared for was losing yet another parental figure in his life. He hadn’t prepared to receive proof that he was unloved, that he was a failure. Actions speak louder than words, and Jason could tell exactly what the bat’s actions meant: _In Bruce’s mind, Jason wasn’t his son anymore—maybe he had never been in the first place._ Instead of finally helping Jason reach the peace that he so needed and craved by taking his murderer out of the equation—making sure he couldn’t hurt anyone (or Jason) ever again, Bruce had chosen to save the Joker, and he had put a batarang in his neck to prove it. It wasn’t fair—how dare he chose his murderer over him and yet still call himself a good father? How could Bruce even justify that?

Had he ever loved him at all? After all, it took Bruce barely anytime to replace him after his death, and the superhero community seemed to actually like his replacement. His replacement had friends, and even Dick, who had been so distant and bitter towards Jason, spent time with him.

Dick had rarely voluntarily spent time with Jason. Jason had never had friends. The superhero community always held Jason at arm’s length. Now, Jason came to realize that he didn’t even have Bruce. ( ~~He wished he had stayed dead because at least when he was dead, he didn’t have to feel this hurt—these emotions~~.)

It wasn’t fair. Did he not deserve happiness, peace? (He thought he could hear the voices that always seemed to surround him after his dip in the pit tittering—like his life was just one big comedy. It wasn’t. It was a tragedy, and didn’t he deserve better than that?)

**Author's Note:**

> Jason's not having a great time. I have plans to expand for this in the future because after everything the bat family has forced Jason to deal with, there is no way he's doing okay mentally, and I really want to explore that in more detail.
> 
> The title is taking from "All the King's Horses" by Karmina.
> 
> Anyway let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


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